Mental Health: Update

MENTAL HEALTH: UPDATE
NOVEMBER 2017

Hello my lovelies!

Welcome back! As you can see from the title of this post, I have decided to update on where I'm at with my mental health. Can you believe its been nearly seven months since I was officially diagnosed? Seven months!!!! Crazy!

Since I was diagnosed, so much has happened in terms of treatment and recovery! I am still on Sertraline 100mg but I will be seeing my doctor next month to see if we can try to drop the dosage to see how my body reacts and if I notice any change. 

In July/August I completed three group sessions of CBT (Cognitive behavioural therapy) which did help to a certain extent but I really struggled as it was in a classroom environment with around 20ish people I didn't know and I just froze every session. We worked on things like the five part process and trying to figure out our triggers to then try to find a way we can control them. Obviously we did worksheets and questionnaires but if I include everything we will be here all day!

At the end of my last CBT session, we had to do a final questionnaire to see if we had reached the "recovery" score or if he still needed further support/treatment. I hadn't reached the "recovery" score unfortunately so we went through the different options and I was offered one to one counselling fortnightly starting in September which thrilled me because I knew I would be a little more comfortable. 

Fast forward to my first day with my new counsellor. I was terrified of what was to come. Was he/she going to be judgemental? Was he/she going to be very patronising? I had no idea, but luckily I had Dayle there to support me. Of course he couldn't come into the room but just knowing he would be there afterwards to support me meant the absolute world to me.

During the first session, it was a case of the counsellor and I getting to know each other a little, talking about why I was there and discussing some short and long term goals. One thing I will tell you, I have never cried so much in my life. We had to go through all the traumatic experiences I have been through and just having to relive them in my mind and trying to explain to her how I felt was so emotionally draining. Its exhausting. It really is. But I knew it would help me in the long run.

As I said, we were discussing my goals for short and long term. I did't have any initially in all honesty because it wasn't very often I would think about my future long term. When you have previously wanted to commit suicide you don't really bother with anything long term and you don't think you'll be here, but, I made two goals. Number one, for my short term goal, I would like to try to build the confidence to start auditioning for roles again and/or start singing publicly like I used to. And number two, my long term goal is to come off my medication, finish therapy and be able to manage on my own using the methods I am taught and knowing how to control myself when my anxiety is triggered.

Obviously I know I have a long way to go until my long term goal is reached, but I know I will get there. Some days I don't want to do anything but stay in bed and sleep for 100 years, other days I really push myself to go out and try new things, see new shows and see friends. Recently I've been going to the theatre quite a bit and its been incredible. Also I did stage door for the first time which was nerve racking but also really enjoyable!

And thats it for my November 2017 Mental Health Update! If you have ANY questions whatsoever about medication/CBT/one to one sessions or just someone to talk to, drop me a message on Twitter or Instagram and I will help as much as I can! Also I'll leave the links below to the NHS, Mind, Samaritans and The Mental Health Foundation for anyone who wants them.

All my love

EleanorAbbey x

NHS: Click Here

Mind:Mind

Samaritans: Click Here

Mental Health Foundation: Click Here